I didn’t make it to the gym. Surprise, surprise. I’m having a bad day. Today it was verified that I got passed-over for a promotion by someone w/ an easier job, less responsibilities and less experience than me. Nice, huh? Great guy – Marcus – one of my few friends in Raleigh. I’m happy for him – I truly am – but I’m frustrated at the same time. So I’m stressed about that, stressed by the thought of looking for a new job (because there’s NOTHING out there), stressed because my roommate’s trying to move away from Raleigh ASAP – leaving my living situation a giant question mark, and terribly homesick. Shel offered to come over several times, but I’m stupid and wouldn’t let him. Although I need someone to take care of me, I only trust very few people to do so… right now they’re all 500+ miles away.

I’m tired of talking and thinking about things, and then not acting on them. Lately I feel so lethargic, like I don’t even like to move. I don’t know how or when I became so lazy. I actually don’t think it solely laziness, but also a lack of motivation. I feel like I’m not working towards anything. I was in school for 18 years, and that whole time I was working towards my degree – which I got. Now what? I’m at a job I don’t enjoy and my bosses are about to screw me over. It has nothing to do w/ journalism or law and I don’t feel challenged in any way. So, anyway – I decided to do something about it. After the holidays I’m going to look for a new job and I’ve started seriously looking into getting a second degree in Pol Sci. I spent my lunch break looking at the NC State website and I’m going to talk to someone in the Pol Sci department about going back to school. Part time, of course. I need to be able to pay for it! If I go back to school, though, it won’t be until the fall when I’m officially a resident of North Carolina.

I’ve been wanting to start going to the gym on a regular basis for such a long time. I have no excuse not to; my complex has a nice little gym that is literally 100 feet from my front door. So tonight I’m forcing myself to go over there and work out for at least 30 mins. Will going there tonight make me go over there every night? Realistically, no, but at least it’s a start.

It’s warm down here, but dark and rainy which makes for a miserable day. I’m sitting in my cubicle at work and I really don’t want to be here. I don’t like my job, but it’s a job and it enables me to stay in Raleigh, which is a good thing. I was misinformed and believed Thanksgiving to be 11/21 when it’s actually 11/28 – so now I have to wait another week before I get to go to Pittsburgh. I’m so excited, though. I cannot wait to squeeze Max! I’ve been putting a lot of thought into what I want to do w/ my future, and I think I’m going to start looking into getting a second BS, this time in Political Science. If NC State has a Poli Sci department, that’s probably where I’ll go … I’m sure Shel will be thrilled. Haha.