I spent the weekend with my brother, his wife and his son. His son happens to be my nephew and he is the MOST PRECIOUS BABY ON EARTH.

No, seriously, he is.

He has tiny little fingers – with even tinier fingernails – tiny little toes, long legs, big ears and amazingly soft skin. Plus he smells like heaven. I’m enamored, I have to say. You would be, too, if you met him.

Seeing my husband hold a newborn for the first time was comical. Laurie, my sister-in-law, hit the nail on the head when she said Allan mastered the forklift hold. That’s basically what Allan did – he held Logan as if he was the forklift and the baby was lumber. Eventually Allan realized Logan wouldn’t break and his arms started to relax a bit. Just a little bit, though. At no point was Allan comfortable. I found the whole scene to be quite charming.

While there, because we’re both October babies, I bought Logan his first Halloween costume. He’s Superman! Believe it or not, they make Superman costumes for newborns. I love it!

Leaving that baby behind yesterday nearly made me cry. It’s incredible how quickly you can become attached to something with no teeth and no muscles.

I’m having a love affair. With my phone. To be more specific, with my iPhone 4S.

Yes, I got one!!!

I waited in line (I was the first one!) at lunchtime at BJs on Friday and got myself an iPhone. Finally.

When Allan and I got married, he switched from Verizon to Sprint so we could do a family plan. Their price was unbeatable and I’d been a Sprint customer since college. About the time he switched, my phone died. I had to pull teeth and promise Sprint my firstborn child to get a discount on a new phone. With discount in hand, I selected the best of the worst options – a Blackberry Style – which I hated before it even became mine. I hated the slow camera and its stupid position. I hated the difficulty I encountered every time I tried to make a phone call. I hated that it was a flip phone. I hated that the Internet browser was so slow and ineffective, it was basically pointless to have on the phone. I hated EVERYTHING about it.

I wanted an iPhone.

Sprint didn’t sell the iPhone.

Then a few weeks ago, Sprint announced that it was going to carry the shiny new iPhone 4S. And I jumped for joy, people. Jumped for joy. I was still jumping up until the time I called Sprint and was told that, because I wasn’t due for an upgrade, I’d have to pay $700 for the phone. And even if I was due for an upgrade, I’d only get $150 off of the device. I would never get the iPhone for less than $500 if I stayed with Sprint. The $200 price you saw advertised on tv was for NEW customers, not for customers who had been loyal for 12+ years.

Funny how that works.

So, I switched to Verizon. I paid the $120 contract cancellation fee (but with a $50 BJs gift card and $50 for my phone from Verizon, it’s basically nothing) and left Sprint. And when his contract is up, my husband is also leaving Sprint.

Funny how that works.

But, yeah, I’m thrilled with the phone. It’s beautiful and functional and oh-so-handy. When trying to make restaurant reservations at a place with an amazing sunset view, I was able to use my Sunset app to pick a time. I downloaded two super fun and awesome camera apps. Did I mention that the camera is 8mpx? It is! My phone also serves as a pedometer, it tracks my periods (TMI?), my favorite teams’ scores and the weather.

Basically, it rocks my world.

And in other news, it was my birthday last weekend and it sucked. Worst. Birthday. Ever. Except for this:

Kamryn wore it especially for my birthday, and it still makes me smile three days later. She’s such a cute baby girl and she has one of the sweetest little faces I’ve ever seen. That she acknowledged my birthday at such an early age makes me love her EVEN MORE.

The good things about having a window in your office include being able to look outside and see what’s happening in the world beyond your box. Having sunshine filter through the window and warm you in the mornings. Feeling a little less claustrophobic over the course of the day.

But today, I almost wish I didn’t have a window. It’s rainy. It’s dreary. It’s cloudy. It’s all-around yucky. And I can see the yuck happening right though the glass.

When I didn’t have a window, I was protected from the doom and gloom happening outside of my building, but now I’m confronted by it and I feel like it’s having a negative impact on my mood. I mean, it’s hard to be happy and cheerful when the sky outside is covered in massive gray clouds.

My family’s pissing me off today. My mother and I haven’t talked since before I left for Alaska for reasons I won’t go into on this blog. Or maybe I will. She screwed me over and manipulated my husband to save face in front of a friend of hers. I never thought she’d treat me or anyone else in our family that way, but she did, and by doing so morphed into her mother, a woman she herself couldn’t stand.

And my brother Gregory doesn’t return phone calls. Or text messages. Or emails. I think I’ve talked to him twice since Kamryn was born in June. I’ve talked to Jason four times since Logan was born on Saturday. And he initiated each conversation.

The only connection I have to Gregory, his wife and daughter is through one of those channels I mentioned above, but it has to be a two-way effort. And he and his wife make no effort. They never have. This isn’t anything new and it’s not that they just treat me this way. They’re this way everyone (more so me, though) and it’s sad. It’s really sad that, because of a lack of effort on their part, I will essentially have no relationship with their child(ren). It hurts my feelings and it pisses me off.

Since Kamryn’s birth, Gregory has yet to send a picture of her not taken with a cell phone. And they don’t have iPhones, folks, so these are three, four megapixel quality at best. If I ever see Kamryn’s face and it’s not pixilated, I don’t know if I’ll recognize her.

Elissa’s entire immediate family – parents, brother, sister – moved to Las Vegas shortly after she and Gregory moved there, so my assumption is that Gregory no longer needs or wants to be bothered with those of us on the east coast. Kamryn is surrounded by aunts, uncles and cousins, so what do we offer? Nothing, I guess.

And, yes, I’ve addressed this with him. I’m not talking (typing) behind his back.

In case you’re wondering what brought this about: when Elissa had Kamryn, the east coast family members sent her a fancy bouquet. And despite sending out two detailed emails about sending flowers to Laurie upon Logan’s birth, I got no response. None. Until my mother emailed this morning saying she wasn’t doing it. Why? I don’t know. So I said fuck it and ordered a bouquet myself. And I wasn’t feeling charitable so it was signed Aunt Lee Lee and Uncle Allan.

And then.


My pregnant coworker went to the HR maternity leave meeting this morning and get this – we only have four weeks of paid maternity leave. One, two, three, FOUR WEEKS off to bond, to adjust, to heal, to become a freaking mother. And we only get those four weeks paid – 60% salary – if we take two weeks of our own vacation beforehand. So we lose half of our vacation, then lose 40% of our pay and, unless we want to earn nothing, have to be back less than two months after we give birth to a brand new human being.

My whole life I have been under the impression – as was she – that if we got short term disability coverage, we got 12 weeks of paid leave.

My company is great, truly. But this is the norm. This is standard and typical. This is awful. How can we as a country walk around espousing the importance of family and family values, then give our new mothers less than two monthss off. What in the world is going on here? Of all the industrialized nations across the entire globe, the United States has the one of the WORST maternity leave policies. That’s not just my opinion, it’s the truth.

Ugh, I’m having a bad day.