A few weeks ago during our first plane ride together, my fiance put his i-pod buds in my ear, pointed at himself and pointed at me. This is the song he wanted me to hear:

Still my heart and hold my tongue
I feel my time
My time has come
Let me in
Unlock the door
I never felt this way before

And the wheel just keeps on turning
The drummer begins to drum
I don’t know which way I’m going
I don’t know which way I’ve come

Hold my head inside your hands
I need someone who understands
I need someone, someone who hears
For you I’ve waited all these years

For you I’d wait ’til kingdom come
Until my day, my day is done
And say you’ll come and set me free
Just say you’ll wait, you’ll wait for me

In your tears and in your blood
In your fire and in your flood
I hear you laugh, I heard you sing
I wouldn’t change a single thing
And the wheels just keep on turning
The drummers begin to drum
I don’t know which way I’m going
I don’t know what I’ve become

For you I’d wait ’til kingdom come
Until my days, my days are done
And say you’ll come and set me free
Just say you’ll wait, you’ll wait for me
Just say you’ll wait, you’ll wait for me
Just say you’ll wait, you’ll wait for me


I changed the name of my blog. It’s something that popped into my head about two years ago, and I’ve been toying with it ever since. Now more than ever, it seems accurate. To be honest, I’ve been paddling to the point of exhaustion since I passed the Mason-Dixon.

Someday I’d like to also change the appearance of this blog, but I don’t have the skillz necessary to do so. And I’m afraid if I try, I’ll erase every word I wrote. So, should my webmaster extrordinaire ever find himself with spare time on his hands (between work, grad school and planning a wedding), maybe we’ll get it done. In the meantime, enjoy the new name.




I’m hungry, I have a headache and I have to pee. But after I type this, I don’t want to HAVE to get on the computer for anything. I want the rest of my day to be free and clear of obligation. It’s one of the perks of unemployment: freedom from obligation for hours at a time. And it’s lovely.

I’m not obligated to write in here, but there are things I want to get down, get recorded, before I forget about them. Or it’s too late to write about them. That happens sometimes, and because this blog has no use other than providing me with a pretty detailed account of my adult life, if I don’t write about the things that matter to me, what good is it?

This weekend Allan and I flew to NJ to attend the wedding of John, my stud muffin, my friend from college. I haven’t seen him in over seven years, but we’ve stayed in touch through monthly phone calls. It’s generally when one of us is in the car – we pick up the phone because we want to talk to someone, and although he and I are as different as two people can get, we have a connection that’s remained in tact despite time and distance. It’s pretty special. So I wasn’t missing his wedding for the world. It was so nice to be away from Raleigh for a little bit, from the stresses that consume me while I’m here. And it was so nice to see him. He hasn’t aged a bit, so it felt like we were right back in Morgantown. Except he now has a wife and I have braces. And a fiance.

I don’t have many friends who I’ve known for 10+ years. John is one of the few. I moved around a bit as a kid, and the moves seemed to happen during formative stages. I know no one from elementary school, have no friends from middle school, and, not counting Facebook friends, only talk to two people from high school. So, Shel, Kristen and John are my oldest friends. And they’re incredibly special to me.

John & Allie, 2001:

John & Allie, 2010: