I’m at home doing homework. Blah.

The Rolling Stones song You Can’t Always Get What You Want just came on my Winamp player and I laughed because – and I don’t know why I’m typing this in here for the world to see – once Shel and I went to the gym together. I was running on the treadmill, listening to my iPod and singing this song at the top of my lungs. Falsetto voice, British accent and all. Shel laughed so hard he couldn’t lift any weights.

(I’m a really bad singer)

I got to work early this morning, so I decided to cruise on over to Starbucks rather than go into the office. Pathetic, huh? Oh well. I’m sitting here on this frigid little day enjoying a hot vanilla latte. Yummmm.

Ok, so I wrote that sentence about six hours ago. I’ve been one busy gal today. Lots of meetings. Good, productive meetings that got me out of my cube and away from my computer screen. Hooray. I’m in a chat room right now with the Daves. They’re too funny.

I think I’m going to make brownies tonight. I’m still on my domestic kick for whatever reason. I’ve never made brownies before, but I have no doubt I will thoroughly enjoy eating the batter!

Uummm…. what else is new or exciting?

I’m worried about Kristen. I haven’t talked to her since Monday. I’m going to make some sort of care package for her, but I’m not sure what to put in it. I was going to send flowers, but they die soon, and I just don’t think that’s a good idea right now. I love Kristen like a sister and she’s in so much pain and there’s nothing I can do. It sucks. It really, really sucks. I feel like I want to plug the hole in her heart and I don’t think that’s something anyone can do at this point.

I ate Chick-Fil-A for lunch and now I don’t feel good. Too much grease or something. I didn’t eat dinner last night, and I didn’t eat anything today till 2:00, so I think it was too much grease/fat for my stomach to handle. Oh well. Maybe it’ll teach me a lesson: no more fast food. I got a new baithing suit over the weekend, and I should hang it on my refrigerator door to prevent me from eating. LOL. No, to prevent me from eating, the bikini would have to be hung from my steering wheel.

So, I told someone last night that they hurt my feelings, which was VERY hard for me. And they didn’t care. “Oh, ok.”

I wonder if Ben Folds is coming back to Raleigh any time soon. Since updating my iPod, I find myself with a whole bunch of new Ben songs to listen to. I’m checking his website… I want to marry a guy who can play the piano. Who has curly hair and occasionally wears glasses and plays the piano. Yeah. That would be nice. Dammit. He’s not coming to Raleigh with this tour. But he’ll be in Allentown on March 25. I’ll send my dad to the concert with a video camera – LOL.

Allan emailed me a funny joke, but I deleted it or else I’d post it.

Oh! One of my suite-mates from WVU found me on MySpace! Biljana! Gorgeous girl from somewhere in eastern Europe. Kristen and I always wanted to look like her.

Ok, I retrieved the joke from my Hotmail trash can:
Skinny little guy goes into an elevator, looks up and sees this HUGE guy standing next to him. The big guy sees the little guy staring at him looks down and says: “7 feet tall, 350 pounds, 20 inch private, 3 pound testicles, Turner Brown.”

The white man faints and falls to the floor.

The big guy kneels down and brings him to, shaking him. The big guy says: “What’s wrong with you?” In a weak voice the little guy says, “What EXACTLY did you say to me?” The big dude says: “I saw your curious look and figured I’d just give you the answers to the questions everyone always asks me….. I’m 7 feet tall, I weigh 350 pounds, I have a 20 inch private, my testicles weigh 3 pounds each, and my name is Turner Brown.”

The small guy says: “Turner Brown?!…Sweet Jesus, I thought you said, “Turn around”.

Does anyone know how it can be so damn bright and sunny outside while the temperatures are freeeezing? You’d think if the sun is shining, it would at least be warm. But no. Apparently that’s not how it works. Wonder why. Oh, and because of the low temperatures, it’s really, really cold in my office building. Our suite is nice and toasty, but the building itself is a meat locker.

I’m tired. I knew I would be. I couldn’t fall asleep last night. I watched Good Will Hunting – lovely movie – then tossed and turned for a while before I finally fell asleep somewhere around 2am. I couldn’t stop thinking. There were oodles of thoughts in my head and no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t turn them off.

I dreamed Meryl Streep pulled an upset and won the Oscar for The Devil Wears Prada. Wow. That would be cool if it really happened.

My weekend was long and pretty decent. Some ups and downs. I was really hurt by someone, my heart is breaking for someone else, and sunflowers were tied to my door.

Ba ba, this is the sound of settling, ba ba ba ba…

I get to do some graphic design stuff today, which is fun, but I suck at it. Well, no. I’d say I’m better than the average person, but I pale in comparison to the professional graphic designer we work with on projects. But this isn’t a big project, so I get to do it.

It’s 11:43 and I’m awake watching Good Will Hunting. This is not good. I’m not going to be able to wake up tomorrow morning because this movie is keeping me up way past my bedtime.

My asthma is acting up. It’s because of the weather. Regardless of reason, it sucks. Stupid lungs.

My parents moved yesterday. Say it with me: weird. My dad called me from a Lay-Z-Boy (is that how you spell it?) store this afternoon. He was complaining because he wants a vibrating recliner and my mom said no. LOL. I think it’s funny that my mom has any say because a) it’s my dad’s chair and b) it’s my dad’s money. Oh well. Guess she’s the head of the household. Actually, she kinda always was. I was more scared of my mom than my dad. My mom’s a yeller. My dad’s not. I’m not a yeller, either. I must get that from my dad.

Anyway. Ok. Commercial’s over. Back to the movie I go.

I had some really vivid dreams last night and I’m having an emotional morning as a result. There are some things going on in my life right now that I deliberately choose to ignore because thinking about them hurts too much, so I dream about them.

Lately I’ve been itching for a new start somewhere. Just pack up and leave. There’s really nothing keeping me here other than loving the area. But I don’t know that I have it in me to do that again. I did it once – that’s how I got here – but I think it would be much harder now.

I dunno. I’m just rambling. I’m going to go eat my lunch now, watch some entertaining daytime tv and hopefully snap out of this little funk that I’m in.

This circus is falling down on its knees
The big top is crumbling down
It’s raining in Baltimore fifty miles east
Where you should be, no one’s around

I need a phone call
I need a raincoat
I need a big love
I need a phone call

These train conversations are passing me by
And I don’t have nothing to say
You get what you pay for
But I just had no intention of living this way

I need a phone call
I need a plane ride
I need a sunburn
I need a raincoat

And I get no answers
And I don’t get no change
It’s raining in Baltimore, baby
But everything else is the same

There’s things I remember and things I forget
I miss you
I guess that I should
Three thousand five hundred miles away
But what would you change if you could?

I need a phone call
Maybe I should buy a new car
I can always hear a freight train
If I listen real hard
And I wish it was a small world
Because I’m lonely for the big towns
I’d like to hear a little guitar
I think it’s time to put the top down

I need a phone call
I need a raincoat