I’m frazzled. It’s been a stressful evening on a multitude of levels. I was tired of the pettiness at work, so I told a manager. I feel better about the situation; even if nothing comes of it, at least someone’s aware.
In less than eight hours I will wake up to celebrate my first Christmas sans my family. I’ve been a waterspout on and off for the past few days, crying at the most random moments imaginable. For instance, tears started flowing in the Papa Lou’s line while waiting for my chicken fingers. And I cried at work when I saw a favorite childhood Christmas commercial. (you can check it out here: http://www.eatnpark.com/newsVideoSelector.asp?NewsID=13&mediaType=QuickTimeHigh) I once read a quote about families and it struck a chord in me: The family – that dear octopus from whose tentacles we never quite escape, nor, in our inmost hearts, ever quite wish to. ~ Dodie Smith I moved down here to see if I could survive on my own w/o my family to hold me up. Mission accomplished. But I miss them every day. Every single day I wish I could be near them. To laugh w/ Gregory, to hug Jason, to talk to my mom and listen to my dad. I wish I could have lunch w/ my grandfather every week, and that I could be the rock that Matthew so desperately needs. Sigh. This is hard. I’m going to be a mess for the next two days!
But such is life. I need to go to sleep now. I’ve gotta get up soon and get my crap ready for my trip to Davie County where I will be surrounded by the matronly love of Ms. Brannan.