I just got out of a very long, very hot, shower. It was wonderful. I would have stayed in there all night if I could have. There’s a spot at the base of my neck that, when hit with a steady stream of scalding water, feels like heaven.

I can’t believe my Thanksgiving break is already over; it flew by. Having my parents in town was great. Their visits are so seldom that it initially felt weird with them in my home. But I loved that they were here. We didn’t do anything too spectacular, just enjoyed spending time together. I also enjoyed spending time w/ Shel’s family. They’re lovely people.

So, I guess that’s all. I meant to write some long, prolific entry, but I find myself zoning out. It’s probably because I spent too long in the steamy shower. Regardless, I’m now going to lay in bed and watch Grey’s Anatomy!

What was life like pre-nano? I shudder to think.

I’m at work, tapping my little fingers lightly against my desk to the beat of Ben Folds. Now that I’m typing, my feet have taken over the tapping.

Today was our ‘work family’ Thanksgiving lunch at Red, Hot and Blue. I rarely let my goofball personality shine through in the presence of my boss, but I did while at lunch and he was riveted. He had no idea that I was such a sarcastic smartass. He said that he knew I had more Yankee in me than I let on. It was amusing.

My parents will be here tomorrow to celebrate Thanksgiving with me. I’m very much looking forward to their arrival, but I’m sad that our family unit has become so spread apart that holidays with the five of us are no longer easily attainable. Yeah, I’m going to be with my parents, but my brothers will be missing. I’m fighting tears as I write this. I realize how lucky I am in that I have nothing but true love for the people in my immediate family. No animosity, no discomfort – nothing but love.

I have to go to Job #2 tonight. Although I’d rather be at home getting some last-minute things done prior to my parents’ visit, I have the coolest second job one could hope for. I worked all weekend and it was nowhere near as bad as I thought it might be. 98% of the people I work w/ are super nice and tons of fun, which makes being there tolerable – nice, even. It’s definitely better than me just sitting around the apartment all the time.

Kristen’s in Jamaica on her honeymoon. Lucky girl. Lucky girl for a lot of reasons: she’ getting her PharmD, she’s married and… she’s PREGNANT! I’ve known for a while now, but haven’t written anything in here. Her pregnancy was supposed to be a secret throughout her first trimester, but a baby is a big secret to keep, and now the proverbial cat is out of the bag. So, here comes the story:

Kristen was hoping to get pregnant on her wedding night, and turns out that she did. She called me about a week after the wedding and said that she felt funny and thought she might be pregnant. She said that she got a pregnancy test, but was going to wait a few days to take it. I said I’d keep my fingers crossed for her, and went back to doing work stuff. Ten minutes later she called again, and I answered the phone by saying, “Are you pregnant?” and she screamed and cried and laughed (and puked) and confirmed that she was, indeed, preggers. So, I was shaking and laughing and on the verge of tears, and my co-workers were all so excited for her (because they could hear her on the phone) and it was just happiness throughout. I helped her plan how she was going to tell her husband (Wow. Weird. Kristen has a husband!) and then tried to go back to doing work, but I totally couldn’t. All I could think about was her little baby. We both think it’s a boy because, when we were talking about streamers (she was thinking of decorating her apartment w/ baby stuff, so when Erich walked in he would be surprised) we were both thinking that the streamers would be blue. Totally unscientific, but you never know.

I was the first person Kristen called when she got engaged, and I was the first person she called when she found out about her baby. Although not a religious person, I feel so blessed to have someone in my life with whom I am so close as to share things like that. Like, if I ever get engaged or pregnant, she will be the first to know. One of the best things that ever happened to me in my life is Kristen. Hands down, without a doubt, she’s one of the best.

Ok, I’ve gotta pee again. Next time I go to Red, Hot and Blue, I won’t drink nearly as much sweet tea!


I dyed my hair red. I’m really happy w/ it and wish I had used permenant dye rather than the wash-out kind. Maybe next time.

My whole family – parents and brothers – are in Pittsburgh right now, heading down to my grandfather’s to gather around the big-ass HDTV and watch the Steelers game. I’ll be sitting in my apartment by myself watching the game (on a HDTV, too).

Shel is in Los Angeles and isn’t coming back till Tuesday. He’s been there since Thursday. I miss him.

I’m sitting at work, listening to my iPod and contemplating life. You’d think at 26 I’d have at least a little of it figured out. But I don’t. I’m still wondering around aimlessly trying to figure out who and what I want to be. And although 26 is still young, I feel like I’m running out of time. I feel so much pressure to try to get myself together, but how can I get myself together if I don’t know what I want? When I was in high school and I would hear about philosophers spending all of their time trying to decipher life, I used to wonder how they could think for so long about one subject. Now I feel like I have a better understanding, but I’ll probably have a better understanding still when I’m in my 30’s, then in my 40’s and so on. I’ve got so much going on in my head and in my heart, and I don’t know how to express any of it. I want to cry, to laugh, to run – physically run – away from everything. To get away from my messy room and my compact car and my crooked teeth and my indecision and my memories of perfection. Don’t get me wrong – I’m happy. I’m happy and I’m confused. There are no easy answers anywhere I look.