I’m typing on Shel’s laptop. It’s a silver Dell – very cool.

Today’s been a weird day. It started off really well – Shel and I got up and moving w/i minutes after waking up, which is rare for us. Usually we mill around the apartment for an hour or two before we find the motivation to move. Anyway. We went to the mall and Shel bought one of the brand spankin new iPods. It’s really neat. I’m listening to it now … BOMBS OVER BAGDHAD. Outkast, baby. Truth be told, I’m jealous – I want an iPod, too.

Then we went to lunch at PF Chang’s and had some good Chinese food. When we got home, we got stuck on the Surreal Life for a while. It’s a show where they put D-List celebrities in a house for a few weeks and film them. It’s totally stupid, but addicting in a weird way.

Ok, now I’m listening to Dashboard Confessionals. I love this guys voice – there’s so much emotion in it. It’s great. Also, his lyrics are really pretty. They’re plain – he doesn’t use any big fancy words, but they say so much.

I don’t know what’s wrong w/ me. I can’t seem to snap out of whatever I’m in. I feel lost, like I’m in a giant pool of water, submerged and unaware of which way is up. I don’t know what makes me happy. I don’t know if I’m asking for too much, but at the same time, I don’t know if I’m asking for enough. Am I doomed to forever deal w/ what plagues my father and brother and aunt and uncle? Do I just miss my family and friends? Am I unhappy because I don’t know what the hell I want to do w/ my life? God, so many questions. I have so many questions for myself and no answers.

Eh, Charlie loves me at least. He’s rubbing his little baby head against my hand as I type. He’s a sweet little critter. Not nearly as sweet as my Henry, though.

Kristen got engaged today. She met a man who makes her happy and swept her off of her feet. He bought her a damn nice ring, too. I’m happy for her. I get to be in her wedding – I was officially asked to be her maid of honor today and, of course, I said yes. I get to wear a pretty dress!

If I traded it all
If I gave it all away for one thing
Just for one thing
If I sorted it out
If i knew all about this one thing
Wouldn’t that be something?

Even though I know
I don’t wanna know
Yeah, I guess I know
I just hate how it sounds

I love listening to music so loud that it drowns every single other thing out and I can get lost and totally enveloped in it.

Finally, my little travel log from London:

I’m sitting at Gatwick Inernational – Gate 62 – and I’m astonished that this laptop still has power!

Anyway. These are my last moments in England and I’m feeling about a billion emotions all at once. I think that I’ll have an emotional meltdown when I finally arrive in Raleigh and can wrap my arms around Shel. I miss him.

Like I said yesterday, I’m going to try to give a relatively short description of what my trip has been like, but I tend to be wordy regardless of how hard I try…

My flight was so cool – I was totally spoiled – but when I got to London, I was such a mess. I was tired, lonely and desperate to talk to someone – anyone – but I couldn’t figure out how to work the phone in my room. Later I would have difficulty working the hot water and tv in my room, too. Hahaha. So, anyway, I took a little nap, wondered around Kensington High Street and then went to bed. Thursday was a work day, which was good, then a few people (me included) went on a walking tour of haunted London areas. I barely heard anything the tour guide said partially because Andrew (a great co-worker/buddy of mine) and I were talking so much and partially because I was blown-away by the beauty of London. The streets and the buildings are so intricate and well-kept. It’s really just gorgeous. Following the ghost walk, we went to a long dinner where I had the absolute best tiramisu ever. Plus, it was the first time I had really eaten since lunch in Raleigh two days earlier.

I have no idea what I did on Friday. I know Jean – another co-worker, the facilitator, actually – and I went shopping and to a Thai restaurant for dinner. I honestly can’t remember any details of that night because I was completely shattered. I like that word: shattered. That and dodgy. I don’t know how to spell dodgy, but it’s a damn good word.

So, Saturday I was totally in tourist mode. I went on the London Eye which scared the crap out of me. You go on a giant ferris wheel suspended like a million feet in the air and you’re placed in a big Plexiglas bubble. Because everything it see-through except the floor, it feels like you’re walking across clouds. Some people would probably like it, but like I said, I was scared to death. The views are spectacular, though, and I’m glad I did it. Wait till I post the pictures from the trip – you’ll see fear in my face while on the Eye – ha! Um, we also tried to go to Westminster Abby, but we couldn’t get in because it was closed. I almost cried, to be honest, because that was the ONE thing I wanted to see more than anything. But, alas, I now have an excuse to go back. We saw parliament and Big Ben, which are two of the most beautiful buildings I’ve ever seen. It’s freaky to think of how old they are because then you have to start wondering, “How in the hell did they build that?” God – we did so much on Saturday that I don’t even know what to type. It was fantastic, though. Oh! We rode the ‘tube’ everywhere and I loved the little signs and how they kept saying, “mind the gap … mind the gap”. It was great. We walked for eight solid hours – no joke – and had no desire to go to Andrew’s boat party because we were just too, too tired, but we mustered the energy and went and had a great time. It was a very mellow and low-key affair and we all had a really nice time. Afterwords, Jean and I – my walking buddy – said how glad we were to have gone.

Sunday I didn’t arrange a wake-up call and ended up sleeping until 11:30!!!! Andrew was my tour-guide and we went to the Tower of London, some art museums and to Buckingham Palace – home of my future hubby, Prince William. Sorry, Shel. The Tower of London was so cool. I was flabbergasted at the notion of people I had read about in history books living in the rooms I was walking around in. It’s mind boggling. I’m a huge English history nut, by the way. We saw the crown jewels and although I was expecting to see more, the ones that I saw were very shiny indeed. (Shiny is a word that started in our group of friends in Raleigh and it has several meanings … just for clarification!) Despite intermittent rain showers, we managed to cross the Thames several times and see lots o’ stuff. Buckingham Palace looks kind of like a big bank w/ really big and ornate gates in front of it. Had it not been for the gates, I wouldn’t have thought it was a palace. It was so neat, though, because you could look in the windows and see the curtains and lights!! It’s weird to think that a QUEEN lives there! After touring, I crashed.

Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday were relatively uneventful. I had business meetings all day and made every effort to roam around during the evening. I’m proud of myself because I never stayed at my hotel during the evening – I always went somewhere. Most of the time I went somewhere w/I walking distance, but once or twice I grabbed a taxi. Kensington, where I stayed, is great. There were lots of things to see and do such as shopping, walking around Kensington Gardens, visiting the palace or going to see monuments. I loved it.

Thursday was the comms team stuff – blah – but that night we all went out and had a great dinner. No, the food wasn’t great – haha – but the people and the interaction was. After that, Andrew and I went to a place called Bar Cuba where we had weird little shots and rum that Andrew said smelled like it had been concocted in a science lab – it was SO strong! I had lots of fun that night – great memories.

Yesterday I again had the comms team meeting – blah, again – and then I met up w/ Angela, my suite-mate from WVU, who is going to school in London. We went to ‘her’ pub, which was really comfortable and nice, then we went to Andrew’s house for a bit. This really happened, I’m not making it up: I played croquet in the dark w/ spotlights all around while drinking champagne. Haha! Angela and I said that never in a million years did we think we’d do something like that together. It was very, very cool, though. An interesting experience I’ll never forget.

Now, I’m at Gatwick. The Body Shop had stuff on sale, so I got a bunch of cool shampoo and now my bag weighs 1.2 million pounds. Poor Shel because my main suitcase seriously weighs 75 pounds! Hehe. I bought a bunch of little stuff while over there and I’m promising myself that when I get home, I will not regret spending all that $$. I have the money to spend, but I always get mad at myself when I buy something I don’t actually need. But screw it, I saw a sparkly ring and I bought it. And I saw cute ballerina shoes and I got them. When will I ever be here again?

Emotionally, I’m kind of drained. I miss Shel a lot and I have a feeling that the flight is going to go slowly as a result. Coming home every night and hearing his voice was the best thing ever. Even on the nights that I came home past midnight, I still had to talk to him or else I couldn’t sleep. I also miss my kitty terribly! My little baby Henry! I can’t wait to scoop him up and smoosh him! I’m still blown away by how much I love that fuzzy black cat.

But, yeah, London was fabulous. I had one of the best experiences of my life. I learned so much about myself, about my culture, about their culture. It was just fantastic. London is gorgeous, so green and enchanting. I had a great time w/ Jean – we shopped and walked a ton. I wish she was a full time GSK gal. Also, Andrew was just wonderful – he showed me and made me try so many things. It’s awesome to get to spend time w/ someone your own age from a different culture. It opened my eyes to so much. Also, he’s a super nice person.

Ok – we’re about to board. I’m going to read the DaVinci code again, eat some lunch and then float away to Dream Land. When I wake up, I’ll be home. :-)

Ok, I really need to update you, Mr. LiveJournal.

I’ve made progress – I transferred my long-ass London entry from the laptop to my desktop. But, you see, I’m too damn lazy to transfer the entry to LiveJournal. I have no good excuse, I’m just weird like that.

Oh well. Off to get my darling Shelly Belly a suit for the wedding. Check out the dress he bought me: http://davidsbridal.com/bridesmaids_dresses_bycolor_detail.jsp?stid=1353&prodgroup=6 I got the one in black.

I miss my dad.

I’m barely awake, but I’m as happy as a clam. Shel met me at the airport and he had w/ him a dozen red roses, a card from him, a card from the kitties and Kate. It was awesome. Then I got to come home, cuddle my boyfriend, cuddle my kitties and talk to a nice woman interested in adopting both Milo and Otis. Plus, I had grits, bacon and pancakes for dinner – life doesn’t get much better.

I wrote a long entry about my trip on the laptop, but don’t feel like moving it to my computer tonight. I’ll hopefully get it posted tomorrow.