Pepsi has a billion dollar sweepstakes going on right now and I honestly feel that, even w/o collecting bottle caps or typing codes on the internet, I should be awarded the money. Here are a few reasons why:
1. I drink a lot of Pepsi.
I buy two six-packs of mini Pepsi every week. I then pour the fizzy goodness from the bottle into one of my lovely Pepsi drinking glasses. So, not only do I support their product – the cola – but I support the brand name, as well. I also only buy Pepsi when going into convenience stores and tend to eat at restaurants who serve Pepsi products instead of Coca-nasty-Cola.
2. I’m good PR.
Everyone who knows me knows that I drink Pepsi and only Pepsi. Therefore, I am touting the product’s delicious flavor. People must think, “Hmm… if she only drinks Pepsi and nothing else, it must be good! Eureka!”
3. I got screwed out of stock.
My grandmother is weird and the ONLY gift I’ve ever received from her, w/ the exception of a homemade nightgown or two, is stock. When I graduated from college – the apex of my short little life – I received … you guessed it! Stock! Much to my dismay, the stock was for the Coca-nasty-Cola Company! Ugh! Does my grandmother know me at all? So, you see, I have deep wounds that only Pepsi can heal.
4. I’m a nice person.
I seriously am. I’m nice to everyone and there’s not one mean bone floating around anywhere in my body. I’d do good things w/ a billion dollars. I would save animals and rain forests. I would feed starving children and figure out how to put homeless people to work. I would buy my parents a house on the beach, get them puppies and a boat. I would buy my brothers cars and pay for their education. I would buy Shel an HDTV and my grandfather a golf course. I would quit my job at Hell-Rom and finally go to law school. I would put down in writing that I would do only good things, and that would make me a fantastic spokesperson. Imagine… a rags to riches story of how a young girl struggling to make it in the world had her life transformed by her love of Pepsi. Pepsi would earn their billion dollars back in a week or two because of the emotions provoked by my story and peoples’ desire to have something – anything – to do w/ me, even if it was only buying a bottle of Pepsi.