This is probably my last journal entry in a while because I’m leaving for Jacksonville (and the swanky Sawgrass Country Club) in a few hours.

This has been one of the strangest years of my life. In January I was just starting the spring semester of my senior year at WVU. It was a hard semester not only because of my classes, but because of things going on in my personal life. I was fighting to save a friendship and was unknowingly losing another one at the same time. I spent spring break in Raleigh trying to decide whether I really wanted to come here or not. Then commencement came, and that was extremely difficult. I could have never imagined how painful it would be to say goodbye to people at WVU; I didn’t realize how attached I’d become to them. Even now, 7 months later, I still miss people like Kristen, Jeff, John and Brooks. Then I moved to Raleigh, got homesick, got kicked out of an apartment, bit by a spider, found a job, found an apartment and fell in love. Now my spider bite has healed, I hate my job and I may be looking for a new apartment soon. Haha. I have no idea what 2003 has in store for me.

I just woke up a few minutes ago after sleeping for almost 12 hours. I was tired!! I honestly don’t remember the last time I slept that long. Anyway. I’m torn about what to do w/ Boo while I’m away. I mean, I have no choice but to leave her, but I’m trying to think of ways to make my departure less traumatic for her. She was really upset the last time I left her. Now she’s become my shaddow; she’s w/ me all the time, sleeps w/ me, follows me into the bathroom when I take showers. She doesn’t even want to go outside!! Ok, for example, this morning Shel called and woke me up, and while I was talking to him, Boo was rubbing her face all over my head and purring. Then I got off the phone and she was laying on my lap, so I cupped my hand around the back of her head (so she wouldn’t strain her neck), and she turned her head around so that her face was in my hand and purred and purred.

Follow these links and check out where I’ll be staying while I’m in Jacksonville:

How cool is that?! Can you imagine actually being able to afford one of those places?? Wow.

Anyway. I’ve got a lot to do before 1 when I leave for my sweetie’s house. I wanted to get a lot of things done last night, but I got sucked into A Few Good Men and Philadelphia and accomplished nothing. I deserved a night of nothing, though.

I’m not having a good day. WVU got embarrassed by Virginia in the Tire Bowl. Sometimes I get weird feelings, and I knew right away we were going to lose. And we did.

I feel like I can’t do anything right; that no matter what I do, I upset or hurt or make someone mad. I’m seriously just not good enough. I’m not a good enough girlfriend, I’m not smart enough to get into law school or have a decent job, I can’t afford to live on my own. My friends have stopped calling me, my boyfriend doesn’t even care if I’m in Florida or not – even the cat hates me.

This sounds pathetic, but I really wish someone, anyone, would hug me right now.

So after two months of posting, I finally added a picture of myself to the site. Now I feel so vain! Haha. I think that picture, in general, looks like me. And it’s cropped so that my ever changing hair color (keller) is out of view. Kristen told me that any time I take a picture, I tilt my head to the side. Wonder why I do that.

I’m going to lunch at Chili’s at 1:00 w/ Shel – yay!